Sorry, Duke

Hope springs eternal.
With new seasons comes new life.
Duke football still sucks.

I Miss GSN

The Game Show Network
Is not part of my package.
Why, Comcast, why? Why?

Get Out of There!

Excuse me, young man.
Why must you attempt to pee
In our potted plant?

I Mow and It Grows

I mow and it grows.
I mow and it grows some more.
I'm ready for snow.

Just Don't Ask

Say what you want to
But we don't taste like chicken
Trust me. I know this.


Syllable pattern
Will soon prefix your phone calls
To New Mexico

If a Tree Falls in the Woods...

When working from home,
You pass a toxic green cloud,
Only you suffer.

The Gift That Keeps Giving

It itches and burns,
And oozes in nasty ways.
I hate you, Mike Vick.

How Not to Start Your Day

Bad morning at sink,
Simultaneous Brushing,
Wife spits on your head